That this is here, it would really help me to get my feelings out, even if no one listens.....
Here we are still TTC, 2 years have passed and still feeling lonely and like no one really understands, another pregnancy annoucment that again broke my heart in two, although I am so happy this person is pregnant this annoucment actually hurt me more than the others, I couldn't even tell you why. Then they tell me they have been trying for a while and were ready to start fertility treatments and this made me feel better. Think maybe its because it wasn't just 1 of them things or they weren't trying or even still got pregnant straight away. Having time to come round to the idea has help and we had a nice chat on the phone last night, i am actually looking forward to the baby coming, and who know we might even have a baby of our own on the way by the time their baby comes. One can only hope.
We have another appointment at the hospital on October the 20th, we had to canal the last 1, as we couldn't get there. I have lost 25lbs so far and praying they see how I have done so far and that my BMI is low enough to get the clomaphine, even though deep down inside I'm not holding out much hope that its going to work, as i took it when trying for Daniel and it didn't.
Feel the need to share how heat broken I was last cycle when i thought we had actually managed to get pregnant, i had some pretty convincing evaps and totally broke down when AF finally showed up.
anyway enough of my ramblings, i will try to remember that this blog is here and update more often.
